I came home from a hellish shift last night to discover that my roommate is an asshole.
THERE’S THIS GIRL SITTING IN FRONT OF ME ON THE PLANE AND I CAN SEE THAT SHE’S ON TUMBLR AND HER URL IS BLACK-WHITE-AND-BOLD AND IM SENDING HER ASKS ABOUT WHAT SHE’S WEARING AND WHAT ROW SHE’S IN AND SHE’S GETTING SO FREAKED OUT
- 50 shades of hipster: he pulled down my aztec leggins whilst I undid his chinos, we then took off each others vans and poured tea over ourselves
- Daughter: dad I'm a lesbian
- Dad: it's cool
- Second daughter: dad I'm a lesbian too
- Dad: Christ, doesn't anyone in this family love cock?
- Son: I do
- me: i hate all of you
- me: stop screaming you saw your friend yesterday
- me: holy fuck walk faster
- me: get smarter idiot
- me: maybe if i hit my head on my desk enough times i'll die
Yes of course(:
- me: omg guess what
- friends and family: it better not be about bands again